I can’t be sure how we as fathers, decent hard working men, who would go all Liam Neeson on anyone who even threatens our families, have somehow been relegated in with the dregs of society. Allow me to expand.
In a 2013 article (1) from deseretnews.com, writer Sarah Peterson touches on some of the sore points of how dads are depicted in the media and as an extension, how we may be viewed in the real world.
I understand that most portrayals of dads on television are for my entertainment so I don’t necessarily feel the need to take up arms and shut everything down because I may not like what I see or hear . The freedom to speak one’s minds is something none of us should do away with simply because we happen to have a differing opinion or do not like what we are presented with. After all, we are the ones with the remote control in our hands.
The point is welcome to free speech, a double edged sword that can be our friend one day and come to bite us the next.
What I do take issue with is when life imitates art. The cases where fathers are treated and stereotyped like fictional characters seen on television sitcoms or in a few bad reports we watched on the evening news and even read about in the papers.
Think about this,how many of us waited to hear the facts, or better yet, sought them out for ourselves when we heard rumours from the media that Brad Pitt had been aggressive in some vague form to one of his children on a flight? Be honest.
As a father of three, I’d like to see more dads be involved in the day to day going on of their families as a whole. I want to see strong father figures, but not on television as much as in real life. I’m not sure when we crossed that line where our entertainment started dictating our realities.
Let’s bring it back to reality and take a stand. Our kids will thank us for it later in life. Our families will be healthier and we will be happier because we would have achieved much more than everyone around us gave us credit for.
We are not victims here, we make our own choices which lead to either negative or positive results so we as dads need to make the right choices.
We can’t afford to let any external influences diminish our roles or importance in the lives of our families. Our wives and children depend on us to do all we can.
This isn’t to say we’d get everything right or that we won’t mess up along the way, but not trying is not an option for any of us, no matter who we are.
It’s up to us to buck any trends that detract from the work we as fathers do for our families, no matter how prevalent these trends may be. Just because someone is speaking loud it doesn’t automatically mean that they are right.
So what can we do to give ourselves better footing in a world that appears to want to tell us what we’re like or put us into a category we don’t belong in?
It all begins with us.
1. We need to be committed, and I don’t mean to an insane asylum.
We need to give our families the time, patience and diligence we know they deserve if we are to see them succeed. Letting mom do all of the heavy lifting should never even enter our minds.
2. Details are important.
Get more involved and better acquainted with your children’s issues. How are they coping at school both with their studies and socially. Set aside some time and get to now what your children are into, what do they like to do in their down time.
3. Make time for your wife.
A lot of women out there have become less than impressed with their husband’s lack of interest and involvement. Take a look at some studies and you’ll quickly see what I’m talking about.
We may have long and hard days at work, but so have they, and between the two of you, you now have kids to think about as well.
Get back to the basics. Make time for just you and her and remember why you two are you two. Listen to her and never stop learning about her.
If we want to see a positive change, we are going to need to become that positive change. It will take a long time before this type of effort will be seen and reflected in the media, but the results will be quicker in the home.
Although I never got married for the fame.
Until next time
The Baby Daddy files. 